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I've had my gym membership for a little over a year.  Unfortunately, i've only been there a handful of times.  Call it laziness, call it lack of determination, but there are day where I simply could not get the energy to drive myself to the gym, let alone, change, workout, swim, shower and drive back home.  Yeah... it is laziness alright.

So today, I decided not to flush my money down the drain anymore and went to the gym.  I ran for 30 minutes, got off and started feeling surreal, like I was walking on clouds.  That means my brain is probably shrieking for oxygen. 
When I was still in China (meaning 1st grade-ish), I use to be trained daily in track and field.  I use to be able to run for hours without being tired!  I must have been a super hyper active kid! Geeesh!  I remember getting up at 4 am and hitting the track for 2 hours before I go home and eat breakfast.  Was I not tired back then?????  I remember my coach forced me to run in the rain and my immune system was strong enough to push me through that without getting a cold. 

Ugh.... I must be in terrible shape now.  
Well, being the generous person I am, I decided to buy a set of personal trainer hours.  Sadly, the cute trainer I had a year ago is gone  and I am placed with the one female personal training, who I've been envious of forever.  She has 0% body fat! Okay, I'm exaggerating, but she has no fat! Pure lean muscles!   Now, when can I be like that......... 

I know I lack motivation and tend to cheat when no one is looking....  So, a personal trainer might just be what I need to get me motivated, a drill Sargent might work as well, but those hotties tend to be a little hard to locate for my personal use.  Thus, I shall make do with my 0%-body-fat hot-mama personal trainer for now

This is was my first run for the GMAT.  After months of cramming, I still wasn't sure if I was ready.  I hated the feeling. 
So I was told to relax the day before the test.  I tried, and failed miserably.  I was so nervous and so edgy.  My brain has flat lined and my heart was sinking into a bottomless pit. 
I planned on getting up at 8, and get ready.  Well, my mom decided to call at 6 am and wish me luck.   Ugh! are you kidding?  I don't know what I said and how I hung up, but I know I went back to sleep instantly.  When I woke up later with a splitting headache and a brain that has thrown in the towel, I knew I was in trouble.  Redbull didn't seem to jump start my brain... 

When I arrived at the testing center, I could feel my heart accelerating.  Oh great, just what I need.  I took a deep breath, convinced myself that it would be alright if I flunked it miserably.  I could try again in 30 days.  I used all those good ol' relaxation tips I've given to clients before.  Haha, now I know they don't really work all that great.  So, I went in the elevator, pressed 5th floor and in the meanwhile, I'm still trying to calm down.  I went into the restroom prior to going into the proctor room.  An old Filipino lady was inside, I nodded and tried to move alone.  She asked me if I was taking a test, so I answered "yes".  She asked me what I was taking, so I told her.  I was bewildered as she grabbed my arms started crying and telling me how nervous she is.  She clutched on to me and asked me to pray for her.  I did comply..... but now I was more nervous than ever!!!!

I didn't know what in the world I was doing when I was checking off those answer choices.  I was pretty much brain dead.  Yup!  And I got a miserable score.  So much for my first time taking the GMAT..... geeesh...

Lesson to be learned:
Don't tell your mother you have a test!
Turn off your cell phone!
and NEVER EVER use the restroom on the same floor as the proctor center!

Alright, I don't mean to sound like a downer, but this constant state of rain is literally driving me insane!
I mean, I get it, it fall, cold front encounters warm front and BAM! here comes the rain.  But a WHOLE month??? Give me a break! It is already more than double the average amount for the past years!

I wouldn't mind seeing sunshine ONCE in a while! No, really! I wouldn't mind!  I hate getting up everyday and seeing clouds.  This is Chicago, not some vampire possessed little town in Washintong State.

"rain, rain go away, come again another day"

最近發現自己好友里多出來一群"實用主義"的男男女女

病名:實用主義

癥狀:患者最常見病狀是無事不登三寶殿
        平常和他/她說話從來愛搭不理, 用一個字回答.  例如:忙, 哦, 等....
        無數年后,忽然哪天 msn/qq/fb/kaixin/xiaonei你了, 第一句話就是 "我問你哦"
        (媽媽的呀!原來此人會用 兩個以上字造句!)
        當然, 一般問的都是特白癡的問題. 例如: 美國LV多少錢, 美國哪個大學讀研究生好, 你在
         xxx 公司認不認識人, 美國房子貴不貴啊, 你老公公司招不招人啊, 你說讀這個專業在美
        國能不能找到工作啊... 等等 等等
        患者明顯表現出缺乏家教. (你媽沒教過你問東西之前要寒暄? 我又和你不熟, 寒暄少于
        5分鐘的特權是reserve給我朋友的)

病理分析:
          此類患者平常覺得自己特nb, 覺的沒用的人都不理. 沒事msn你一個 還覺得特別給你
          面子. 此類病屬于好久沒有照鏡子, 缺乏自知之明, 自命不凡, 目中無人 綜合為一體的非
          典型性病種. 此種病的患者 會誤認為 朋友=有利用價值.當然, 沒有利用價值的人=浪
          費時間的人.
         


治療方法: 先去找個鏡子照照看,知道自己到底是幾斤幾兩. 多問問別人的反饋讓自己對
          自 身有個全面的認識. 對自己有個全新的認識后 就能明白一條真理少tmd去煩別人,
          沒 人愛理你
          問問提前請 想明白, 你對別人也沒什么價值, 所以很有可能得到單字回復.         
          如果真的想問問題也是可以的, 你tmd能不能先google一下!!!!
           問這種sb問題是浪費別人的腦細胞和生命.
         
          

         

coco從收養到現在2年半左右了吧.

期中我和coco就成了寵物醫院的常客.從感冒,角膜炎, 跳蚤, 拉肚子, 膀胱結石 還有無數
的小病....


老公一直告訴我"把coco送回收養中心吧, 她不喜歡和我們玩 也不和表表玩會很郁悶的",
 "coco經常生病我們不能給她最好的醫療條件".  每次都被我回絕了.

7.8.09
今天看書回來 看到coco在沙發上大口的喘氣, 舌頭都紫了. 我趕緊抱去急診. 開車去的路
上coco在我懷里不停的大叫, 不停的抽....我崩潰了... 

送進急診后我就坐在大廳里一直哭, 兩個小時后醫生告訴我 coco胸腔積水, 要住院.  我
雖然做好心理準備, 但是看到賬單心里還是緊了一下.... 

回來的路上, 我自己知道最理智的決定是把她送回收養中心. 他們有自己的醫生可以給她
最好的治療.  跟著我只能繼續受罪. 
可是心里還是不甘心, 還是告訴自己這次以后coco就不會生病了! 感情上完全接受不了把
coco送回去. 
在急診室, 醫生破格讓我去急救室里看看coco.  看著她憔悴的躺在氧氣室里 我心都碎了
.
我開始責備自己當初不該為了自己開心去收養她, 讓她跟著我一直遭罪

對不起 是我沒照顧好你, 是我照顧不好你 所以你才會一直生病. 誰讓媽媽沒本事賺錢給
你看最好的醫生, 跟著我真是苦了你了

7.09.09
收到電話后, 我打電話叫了我弟弟陪我去醫院.... 我知道, 我一個人扛不住了.
開車去的路上, 我的淚水不停的流. 路過加油站的時候, 我停下買了包煙.  已經戒了好多年的煙, 但是我知道今天該是破戒的時候了.

開到急診室, 在大廳里看到別人抱著狗狗貓貓 我心里說不出的難受, 因為我知道 coco不會再看到這個大廳了.

前臺小姐把我領到12號房間 就去氧艙里抱coco了. 幾分鐘后, coco裹著厚厚的毛巾被抱進來了. 抱她進來的護士 眼角掛著淚 給了我一個hug, 告訴我別自責 然后說 "coco is very lucky to have a mother like you".

看到coco在我懷里憔悴的樣子 我開始嚎啕大哭. 護士每5分鐘來檢查一次coco的情況. 我知道我剩下的時間不多了.  雖然護士和醫生一直告訴我 想呆多久都可以 別著急, 但是我看到coco的皮膚在慢慢的變紫.

我出門的時候給她帶上了她最喜歡的小餅干, 但是她聞了聞 沒有吃.
coco在我懷里還是像以前一樣抱著我胳膊 把臉放到我胳膊和身體之間.  眼神還是一樣的無辜 清澈.

醫生進來問我要不要再抱coco回家看最后一次.. 可是她那么虛弱 還能經得起路上的折騰嗎


1個小時后, coco的膚色已經變得發紫了, 我急忙叫來了醫生問安樂死的問題. 醫生和護士很耐心的給我講了過程 還有問我要不要火化coco.  在我簽完所有的字后, 醫生拿著針進來了.  我知道我和coco剩下的時間只有短短的幾秒了.
我緊緊的抱著coco, 告訴她媽媽愛她, 天堂里會有好多好吃的, 她在天堂還能看著媽媽
隨著針管里 藍色的液體越來越少, coco低下頭安詳的睡著了, 她最后一次舔了舔她的鼻子.

coco就這樣睡著了, 她走了.  我感覺房間開始旋轉, 我弟弟抓著我 大聲的說 "姐, 吸氣!"

護士接著進來拿了一個新的毛巾給coco裹了起來 然后放到一個紙做的小棺材里.  我看到她放進去了一個卡片

給了我一個hug就出去了

然后給我了coco病歷上的一個sticker 上面寫著出生日期 體重 什么的

sticker上被護士和醫生寫了好多祝福的話
我打開coco的小棺材看了看卡片
是他們后面集體醫護人員寫的 "rest in peace coco, we will all miss you"

回家的路上, 在車里我看了coco的病例..... 

2007年8月12號生的... 下個月她才2歲
診斷為淋巴癌.
體重6.8磅
品種 ragdoll
顏色 巧克力和白色

名字 Coco Song

弟弟幫我在后院里把coco埋了, 這樣我能天天看到她

安息吧 coco, 天堂里沒有痛苦, 沒有病痛, i know God will take care of you better
 than I can.  我知道天堂里別的貓貓都會很喜歡你, 我希望你能吃得慣那里的食物.我知
道, 等我去那里的時候我們還會見到, 你還會是我最愛的貓貓